Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pigments of Hope, if there’s any…

Yet another heart broken left to rot without anyone knows about it...



Few knew about but still kept it a secret for it is not ready to be heard






For it is too painful
For it is too devastating
For one to even endure it…
However one must learn to face it even if it cud kill
n bleed them dry…
I may not sound sane rite or even make senses but
Maybe insanity is wat keeping me alive n well
Maybe insanity is wat keeping me as me
Maybe insanity is wat people need rite now..
Life has become an utterly complicated…
For people who tell themselves that
They we’re doing not to hurt anyone
Bt from a minor point of view


Caught me in the eye n left a note
All they were doing was hurting someone else
They say putting others feeling before theirs???
Well they were actually putting their feelings before others…
Bt maybe bcoz u’re having a big event for ur future
Maybe I shudnt be lenient at first maybe I shud hav been selfish
Like u
Putting my feelings first
Atleast I’ll make u suffer…
But tht juz isn’t me
I cant harm a fly even if I want it to
Metaphorically saying thou….
I cud hurt a fly..
Hurting wud do me any good or harm..
So well for me there isn’t much fun wud it now…
Bt the amount of pain I have to endure is juz
A valuable lesson for me
With opportunity I wud like to thank you from the bottom of my heart …


Becoz
U have made me stronger
U have made me wiser
U have made me understand
Even though u have shattered dis heart
Even though u have tore dis heart
I will always try to keep ur heart unharm…
I will always try to be there wen u’re in need…

Becoz past is juz another old book…



Becoz doing wat u did to me
Wudnt make me powerful
Wudnt make me stronger
It wud only make me weak
It wud only make me inhumane
Thats the last thing I ever wanted for u
Becoz I still treasure the precious moment

We had…
Becoz the valued moment have overcome
the painful moment after u’ve gone….

So I will always be here waiting for u….

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Random

Im just randomly writing to let out my feelings..

But what feelings am I exactly want to express…

Im not sure actually…..

Hurmmm….

Im feeling lonely and furios lately…

I don’t know why…..

Im feel like climbing a mountain n screaming the top of my lungs!!!

Why am I feeling like this…

The worst thing I channeled it someone…

Why did I do that….

Am I feeling threaten to that person…

Arghhhhhhh

Why did I do tht…..

Im really stressed out channeling my ridicoulous anger to that person…

What hav I become….

That person didn’t do anything wrong nor that person has any connection to this feeling I have…..

Why ….

Every step im taking is bringing me closer to my rage…

Everything I do I feel angitated….

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh

How I wish I have someone to talk to…

But to come a think of it ….

What do I want to talk about???

NOTHING…

Exactly nothing…

U see what I mean…

Im feeling angry at something that don’t exist…

Im feeling lonely at something that don’t exist…..

I’m feeling as if im beginning to feel im no longer a person who is having a rational thought now…

Arghhhhhhhhh

Why???

No matter how hard I try Im feeling irate ….

Did anyone push my buttons????

I been asking myself the same question…..

And the only answer I get is….

diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii………

nada….

No one…

Nobody…..

So why am I feeling this way!!!!

I still felt guilty to the person thou….

Urmmmm how I wish I cud write srrry a million time to that person…

Bt that person doesn’t have any connection nor did that person trigger my rifle of anger…

Bt im feeling furious ….….

Why……

Sometimes I feel im about to loose it….

My ridiculous feeling is starting to take the best of me…

Killing my rationality….

Taking me to a place im not proud of…..

Taking me to a ride that no where in fun villle…

Arghhhhh…..

Im feeling that I’ve gone to the wrong direction…

And yet I have been direct otherwise…

Why do I take tht road when I’ve been told to go to other direction…..

Arrghhhh….

I juz wish sometimes life can be done by a book

Something like a book of recipe…

Where u do exactly like the book say

Or ur food will taste bad…

Why life cant be as simple like that…..

How I wish I cud resolve dis problem that neva exists…

Hurmmmmmm…